Whoever said life is easy was either lying or demented! They have discovered I have an autoimmune disease that affects my joints, makes me swell, have pain, get sores and makes me tired. Since then I have found out that I have other family members with things like lupus and connective tissue disorder so it is in the family. They have me on medicine but as I found out this last week, I still have flare ups.
Because of this disease I am no longer able to mow the church yard or work for people like I used to so I have no extra income. I did these things to try to make ends meet so now I don't have that and am thinking I may have to file bankruptcy. I certainly don't want to but don't know what else to do. It is also harder to just do things around the house and yard like I have always enjoyed.
I lost my dad at the beginning of the year and moved my mom this spring. That has been tough.
Things have been stressful at work with some issues going on.
Found out that someone I considered a friend, even though I haven't seen her much lately, had a get together and I wasn't invited though a lot of my friends were. Now that may seem a small thing but when you are already down it just seems worse. And I am trying to have a christian attitude about it, I mean after all, anyone can invite anyone they want anywhere they want, it just reinforces something that I have battled for years, that I am insignificant. I know in Gods eyes I am not but people always let us down. I guess that is why God's love is so amazing. We are not perfect. We have autoimmune diseases, people die, we hurt people's feelings and our feelings get hurt. We sin and are sinned against.
But God, who is perfect, who never sins, who never gets sick or dies, loves us unconditionally. He doesn't hurt our feelings. He may not answer our prayers the way we always want but he always has something better. That is where I have to base my trust and happiness in, not anyone or anything here on earth. And I know He is coming back and I want to be ready and go with Him. So I have to focus on Him and that and not on anything here.
Thank you God and praise You!
